"What Every Bard Should Know,
Or A Guide to Inns and Taverns: Crossing"
by Lady Anon

This month I am taking a close look at the inns and taverns of Elanthia. My first stop, and closest, is the Crossing. There is a wide array of Inns and Taverns within the walls of this fine city, ranging from pure dives to divine dining fit for a king. Bring your mugs and your money, and prepare to be wined, dined, and intoxicated by the end of our tour!

My first stop is the Viper's Nest Inn run by Amfitro. It is located near the West Gate. When one first comes to this fine (and I use this term loosely) establishment, you can immediately hear the gay laughter and merriment coming from within. Okay, I really tried, but this place is perhaps the worst dive I have ever seen. It is a wonderful place to go, however, if you want to spend a lot of money. I tried to order a drink and realized my purse was a lot lighter than I thought it was. The place is rather crowded, and Amfitro is quite a, um, friendly sort. This place is not set up for overnight guests, but something tells me there is more here than meets the eye.

The food at the Viper's Nest is interesting to say the least. The place seems to be always out of Pickled Hairing. There is a wonderful Brushwood Shrimp, though now that I come to think of it, Brushwood is an inland town. One can always find freshly ground coffee and mountain mineral water here, but somehow I doubt either is true to its name. I think the Viper Venom is the key to this place: guaranteed to send you to the healers.

Overall this place is a bit too shady for my tastes, though I am sure there are others who would love it. It seems to cater to an interesting crowd. Mostly what I saw were Gor'tog and Skra within, but there were representatives of each race around. This lass will stick to other parts of town that the town guard frequents more often.

Next I walked south to the Sand Spit Tavern, more toward the waterfront. This tavern is quite interesting, having been built from a section of a salvaged ship's hull. The whole place seems to have the décor of a ship. Being as such, the main stock of customers come from the various ships that grace our seas. One must not overlook the few shadowed tables there where one can hold private conversations without the whole bar watching you.

The food here is mostly drinkable, ranging from Sand Spit Rum, where the bar gets its name, to Helmsman's Ruin, rumored to be able to drop the best sailors in one drink. The actual edible food is not outrageous in price, and for an establishment such as this, is not the worst food I have had. Might I suggest their Quarter Roast Gull or even their Sea Slug Stew. Time spent here is not wasted. One can catch up on the happenings of the islands by talking to the sailors and perhaps even find a free trip or two. Be careful, though; the sailors are ferocious drinkers, and one can get a bit too caught up in things if one is not careful.

After my time on the waterfront I headed toward the temple, perhaps more stumbled, and found the Half-Pint Inn. This Inn is quite marvelous. It has two stories. The top floor houses several permanet residents and has private rooms one can use for any purpose one could imagine. The bottom floor has several rooms, as well, one being a gaming room where gamblers from all over come to test their skills and their luck. The bar seems to always be crowded, the main group being mostly Humans, Dwarves, and Halflings. There is even a place for Bards to show their stuff known as Bards' Corner. Both local and traveling bards hold many shows here.

The food here at the Half-Pint is a bit on the expensive side but well worth the cost. Expect to spend quite a few kronars coming here, but everything is well worth it. If you do visit, be sure to try the Candied Onion-Stuffed Piglet and Cold Ewe Milk. Absolutely divine! For desert I found the Sugar-Dipped Taffelberries to be quite marvelous.

The Half-Pint Inn is well worth a look, especially if one is looking for a nice place to spend a few days while visiting the Crossing, or if you are seeking a friendly place to bring a few friends. There are plenty of rooms available for private use, a wonderful menu, bard entertaining, and gambling. What else could one ask for?

Heading north toward the Barbarian and Empath guilds, I managed to find Gaethrend's Court. The sign was quite prominent, but by this time it was beginning to be hard to see clearly. If you look for pure elegance in an establishment, look no further. The Court is ready to cater to commoner and king alike provided either can afford the luxuries provided within. The Court is two stories high. One stairway leads to grand living quarters. One can only imagine who lives within the walls of the Court. The other stairway leads to Widow's Walk. If one wishes to gaze at the stars, this is a wonderful spot to do so, quite a quiet and private area just perfect to take that special someone.

Some of the finest drinking in all of Zoluren can be found at Gaethrend's Court. The prices are quite steep in comparison to other taverns, but the quality cannot be beat. The Imperial Brandy is quite lovely, and one must not forget the Starry Road Sherry that is guaranteed to send you one step close to the great beyond. There are also drinks made for the S'Kra and Tog patrons, Venom Root Elixir and Mudrock Brew. I do not think my frail constitution could take either.

The Court is by far the place to be in all of Zoluren if you want to be anybody. Bards called to perform here do so for a regal crowd, and the patrons range from merchants to nobility. It is truly a fine establishment for someone wishing to forget about the outside world - if you can afford it.

After my stay at the Court, I wandered, stumbled, and was carried to Taelbert's Inn near the Cleric Guild. It is a rather quaint inn, perfect for just about anybody. It has a spacious upstairs with plenty of rooms people can rent, and there are rooms on the first floor suitable for meetings or romantic dinners. The place is very similar to the Half-Pint in its prices and guests. Taelbert's Inn has gotten a name for itself in the Crossing as the inn for the common man. It is always busy with commoner and adventurer alike. No one is too good for this place, and no one is turned away for being too bad as well. It is a home for anyone who would like it as one.

The menu is rather well thought out. I find the establishment caters nicely to people who choose not to eat meat. Their Vegetable Soup was wonderful, and their drink selection ranges from Gor'Tog Grog to fine Red Wine. They even have the Hair of the Dog hangover cure, though somehow I believe it is just more of the dog that bit you (but you didn't hear that from me).

This Inn is quite popular, especially with people who have grown weary of travelling and need to rest for a while. The rooms are spacious, the staff helpful, and the menu exactly what a tired adventurer needs. There is plenty of food to fill the stomach and alcohol to rest the mind; what more could one want?

I don't know how I got there, but I found myself on the steps of Baearholt's Farmhold next. It is just outside the Crossing Northeast Gate and up the Northern Trade route a bit off a thin trail. It is a small building, and one wouldn't think much of it at first glance. Inside, however, away from the bustling city, is a wonderful tavern full of life and song as well as beer! The food and drink is outstanding for the price you pay, which is quite cheap if you ask me.

The selection of beer at Baearholt's Tavern is so wide, one wouldn't be able to sample them all and be able to stand unless he was a Dwarf! All freshly brewed right there, each beer has its own distinct flavor. My personal favorite was the Nightbrew Lager. Baearholt says it has to be brewed under a full Katamba moon in order to capture the essence of Damaris himself! I must say the beer was heavenly. The foods are perfect for a farmer out to lunch or a traveler stopping off on the side of the road for a relaxing meal. They even have fresh Roasted Snowbeast Sandwiches from Shard!

Baearholt has really done well for himself. He's situated just a small walk away from the Crossing, yet he maintains a wonderful patronage in his tavern. If you want a feeling of home outside of the city, stop over at Baearholt's and have a drink. Put your feet up and relax a bit while the bards tell some tales, forget about the road ahead or behind, and tell him I sent you.

After my day of travelling, I was quite weary and quite intoxicated, so I got a room at the Farmhold to recover. I was going to travel to Arthe Dale and Haven, but I believe my frail constitution could not handle another round of taverns today. Instead I shall leave Arthe Dale's and Riverhaven's establishments until next issue. Will they have anything to compare to the Crossing? We shall see. Until then, Happy Drinking!